About LoVe

  • “I’ve been in love before, it’s like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day you want more. You’re not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things. You think about the person you love for two minutes then forget them for three hours. But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. If he’s not there, you feel like an addict who can’t get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you’re willing to do anything for love.”
  • “When someone leaves, its because someone else is about to arrive — I’ll find love again.”
  • “The most important thing in all human relationships is conversation, but people don’t talk anymore, they don’t sit down to talk and listen. They go to the theater, the cinema, watch television, listen to the radio, read books, but they almost never talk. If we want to change the world, we have to go back to a time when warriors would gather around a fire and tell stories.”
  • “Sometimes you have to travel a long way to find what is near.”
  • When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.
-By Paulo Coelho :)

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When u're trying to be the best...

..... Right from start, when i started everything over, i wanted a perfect ending.. I tried to be the best he's ever had.. But it's breaking my heart knowing i was taken for granted.. I never want to repeat my past life.. I never want to go through all those painful lies ever again.. I really wanted it to be perfect.. But perfection doesn't come from 1 side when that world involves 2 persons... Sad... His insecurities over his past made him incapable of honesty & sincerity... Thinking maybe i'm just the same like any other girl he met... We're two broken souls... But he was lost in his own world... Didn't have a clue on what he really wanted.. When i was sure to choose him over other guys...

It leaves a hole in my heart thinking the one i chose treated me like a fool the moment when love is the most real thing i've ever felt.. In the end of the day, when other girls didn't work out for him, he went to me...the backed up one a.k.a the 2nd choice... And it leaves me feeling like the biggest idiot on earth.. Thinking that he loves me the way i did...

I don't deserve that... Not a bit... I don't deserve this pain.. I don't deserve to suffer someone else's mistakes... Im tired... And now this heart is half empty...

Love is not a game....
But he played me well...

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Tired

...... Of being the good girl that no one ever appreciate... Why? When i never did anything wrong? Then why must i am the one who got hurt? Every.single.time....


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Another first time

Yes... yesterday's evening a colleague came for my help to give motivational talks this morning.... yep... another last minute's task... and i NEVER.... never give any motivational talk ever in my life.. so u can say it's another one of "bidang terjun" again... sigh~~~

Soooo... another first time, first trial... yeah, i accepted the challenge.. i challenged myself this morning... like ususal, i didn't do much thinking about how i would perform..
Instead, i juz gave my best for it
and it was surprisingly fun :)
I'm glad i took the chance.. i learn another thing today :)
i can say i would love to do it again if given the chance...
well, like what people say, u wouldn't know unless u try & give it ur best..

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The One

Everyone deserve to have that one person who

>>can speak right through your heart

>>cheers u up on ur rainy days

>>makes u believe whenever u doubt urself

>>makes u want to become a better person

>>enjoys talking to u doesn't matter how silly the conversation goes

>>scold u when u don't take good care of ur health

>>knows how to take good care of u

>>thinks u're the best person in the world even with 101 of ur weaknesses


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Is it even fair?

In life, we met different kinds of people... thus every time we fall in love, 
we'll experience different kinds of love... 
so does making comparison of your past and your present is even a fair thing to do?  
Seriously, this thing keeps messing with my mind not because of jealousy.. i'm well aware of the differences... and i'm the one who knows myself better (though there are a person who can read me like a book) i know i'm born with many flaws and of course gifted with many advantages also.. (baby, i'm in a different league) but  to make comparison just to destroy my self esteem is just unacceptable to me... by saying all of those things, how would that makes me feel? how would that makes anyone feel? No one wants to be with a person who thinks other's are better than them...

P/s: i STILL can't brain this..

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Updates

It's been a while since i've posted anything... i started this blog to share all my beautiful moments but it looks like it's filled with all my heartache moment.. sigh~~ maybe i should change the address to myheartache@blogspot.com instead  

well, these past weeks have been very hectic to me... 

>>Organized a HUGE scale event involving 100 elementary kidssss.... (seriously, KIDSSS)

>>Organizing entrepreneurship course for a group of adults... (yeah, ADULTSSSS)

>>Dealing with external organization that is overly demanding & unprofessional

>>Struggling with tons of paper worksssssss  as it is the procedure for any event

But despite all of these, as an optimist girl who's always look at the bright side of life, i learned a lot of things,,, seriously A LOT... it feels like i'm going through 2 weeks super intensive crash course of event organizing.... moreover, it was my first time for a lot of things... my first time handling kids, my first time giving talk to adults, first time of dealing with external organizations, my first time dealing with procedures... 

Just whenever i'm in distress, a little support would be nice... i need a little strength back there... hmm..  

Despite of all the stress & exhaustion, i'm proud of myself.. i'm proud of the new experience that i've gathered... :)

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