The Other Side Of Me

Along the years i notice people who doesn't know me have a different perception about who i really am... but it is more saddened when people who knows me also do misunderstood me... to say that i'm unpredictable, i don't think so.. since i'm the most naive with my emotion...and for those who should've known me better than anyone else, if u misunderstood me... yes, i will feel terribly sad... So, let me make it clear about certain stuff so that i won't get misunderstood for these reasons.

1. I'm totally allergic to those species who like to brag... a.k.a klaka up2... u don't have to brag in order to impress me... i prefer humble people a LOT more

2. I might be playful... childish.. live my life crazily BUT people do have to watch their mouth when they're talking to me... certain people juz dunno how to differentiate between jokes & manners... sigh~~~ u want others to respect u? respect urself 1st peeps....

3. High maintenance a.k.a high end - like helloooo~~~~ i do own a RM 5 shirt & it's still one of my favourite in my wardrobe.. i'll wear anything that's comfy... so for those who face a difficulty in getting me a present or such.. chill~~ because it's the thought that counts, not the price tag...

4. Gullible.... yes, i am... but only to those people i'm closed with... i'm naive because i trust these people to be true to me since i give my honesty to them... BUT i don't trust juz anyone.. only those whose have earned it... BUT once they throw it away, forget about getting it back....

5. Dwelling over the past a.k.a KLMJ - urghhhhhh~~~ i'm a loving person... once i love, i loved deeply.... but once that's gone, new love will always come... and memories will fade away... so i definitely don't do stuff like dwelling over stuff or a person that doesn't even matter anymore in my life... I forget people easily... so when i said i don't care anymore, i seriously don't...  P/s: out of sight, out of mind.. there where u'll be....

6. Drama Queen - i might act like it... but i'm only half of it... i hate drama... but i love being a queen ^^ i mean, i don't wait for others to treat me like a queen... i'll do it myself.... i might not be perfect, i might not be the prettiest girl in ur eyes, and i might not have a perfect life... but i love myself the way i am... and my value will never decrease even if u can't see my worth... P/s: i'm good at being me

7. Arrogant a.k.a sombong a.k.a lawa  I don't smile to strangers... that's creepy.. my "friendly" side do have a boundary... plus, i think object attracts me more than people... even when watching a movie, i'll get attracted more towards the surrounding compare to the storyline.. lol! so, it's not about being arrogant at all.. p/s: if u get what i mean...

8. Hardheaded - If u did something wrong to me doesn't mean i won't talk to u forever even i can perfectly erased someone's existence from my life.. if people own their mistakes & make up for the things they've done... i'll not only forgive them but i'll respect them more... P/s: not many are man enough to admit their mistakes... most people chose to blame others or running away from it... so it's their choice to value their ego more than friendship.... and i'm to blame for the friendship that they throw away? i don't think so..

9. Strong - Being strong doesn't mean i don't cry... i juz don't like to show my weak side in front of others,.. yes, my life sux sometimes but i dont need others sympathy... i dont like feeling pathetic... so whenever i'm down, i choose to distract myself rather than crying over it..

10. Promises - are the word i hate the most in english vocabulary... this word has made a fool of me most of my life... it is officially a banned word in my life... now i understand when my former lect. said... "once a promise is broken, the relationship will be gone forever"

p/s: ngereco

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U might find me to be difficult these days...

I might act different...

I might drown myself with work & stuff....

I might act cold....

I might have nothing to say...

The truth is.... i'm just terribly miserable without u...

But i can't say it since there's nothing we can do about it but to wait~~~

Yet i can't pretend that i'm all bubbly & cheerful like i used to be..

Because deep inside i'm dying to see u...

P/s: setiap nafasku hembuskan namamu ♥♥♥

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I feel lately we've become estranged...

#dumbfounded 

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..........are things that no one understand

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As days go by...  i can't help myself missing u so badly... memories filled my head & i feel like drowning in it... Today is the official 7 months of our journey in being together... time surely flew fast but we've came a long way... Both of us didn't see this coming at the beginning.. we said we'll give it a try... take a shot and see how far we can go.. We said we'll get to know each other once again... i guess we love each other even more once we discover the other side of both... the side we never knew as bestie in all these years.... i know in every first stage of any relationship, everything will seem so bright but with u, the future seems even better... and i'm looking forward to it because u & me are just awesome :) ♡♥♡♥♡♥♥♥

p/s: my heart is filled with u

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Is there even a perfect match??? i don't think so but closer to perfect, yes.... my friend told be about how accurate the result of the compatibility between her and her soon to be ex-hubby... basically the result said they can be together but not for a long time because soon both will choose to go to a different direction...

their relationship wont work for long unless they are violating the laws of astrology... well, i'm indeed a fan of astrology because i think it's interesting but i never quite a believer... i read it just merely for fun... but after hearing the accuracy of my friend's result, i was tempted to test my own relationship....

i'm a capri girl & he's a virgo guy.... i know both capricorn and virgo posses the same earth element maybe that's why we got along very well as bestfriends for years before... eventhough we had arguments and stopped talking to each other for quite sometime, somehow destiny had brought us back together.....even closer than friends could be.... so i expected our compatibility percentage would be high.... butttttt i never thought that it would be thaaaaaatttt high... i tested and was surprise with 97% compatibility match????

p/s: so i guess miss capricorn has found her close to perfect match :)

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We had our official super awkward 1st date in Midvalley KL.. and on the 9 march we were there once again... although we didn't get to do much in 2 days... but i'm still glad that we meet.. coz every moment that we've spent together will become a memory that i'll treasure... i've never been happier in a long time... and things never feel so real like this...

Time surely flew fast esp. when we're together... we've been in this new journey for almost 6 months now and ofcourse we did face several obstacles down the road but despite all that, the road ahead seems more clearer esp. to my once confused mind.... although one of our policy is not to make promises to one another but i have faith in him... i have faith in us... by seeing how we made an effort to make us work is soooo much better than 10 000 promises :)

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I owez thought sleeping is a waste of time.... especially during day time... time flew without me doing anything but having a trip to neverland instead.... but it seems like my body needed it for these past few days... the mind has been experiencing dizziness and the body just felt exhausted over nothing.. i wonder is it because i haven't been eating properly these few weeks.... sigh~~~ my fluctuating body weight has put a lot of stress on me... to the extend that it has become my top list on the thing i hate the most in life... ~.~" Even when i know i'm still awesome either way... but still.... sigh~~~~~

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Morning new year....

Time sure does flew very fast & it will never be enough for one person.... 2012 was a rough year but somehow it gave me a new beginning as well... a new life for me to look forward to... although as for now i don't think i have the strenght to confidently accept 2013's challenges but starting from now... i will slowly fix the changes in my life & gain myself back...

P/s: today felt slightly better than yesterday

Xoxo

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Morning peeps...

This thurs morning i feel a lil bit off... i do appreciate it when people give me compliments such as "u're hot,"... but over the time it gets frustrated when it seems like that's the only thing that they see in me even after a while knowing me as friends... makes me think that i don't have any other qualities aside from that... i don't care for those who don't really know me... their opinion doesn't really matter.... but for someone who knows me for years, yet that's all that u see.... and as gullible as i am, i thought what's inside is more important... maybe all this while i keep looking for the good in people so i was expecting the same thing from others... i really should stop that habit.... i really shouldn't care how they look at me and stop letting people toying with me.... because those who can't see the good in me do not deserve it...

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Morning beautiful people ^^

Well... here i am talking nonsense again.. pouring whatever it is that came across my mind right now... 2013 is just around the corner... so it's time to wrap up 2012... i'm someone who always have plans for my future.. to live life i woukd always want something to achieve... a goal as u say... previously i had all my life plan ahead of me.... the problem is.. i only had that ONE plan without any back up a.k.a plan B..... so unfortunately things don't go my way... i got sidetracked... kinda menourve too far... with a way back that i never want to take anymore...that road was just too painful for me... so simply say, now im in a middle of a junction which is unknown to me... what should i do? I need to find that out soon... well, i have 10 days to decide my new future plan :)

Xoxo

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Life sucks......indeed. No one can have everything and nobody's perfect... Most of the time things don't go the way we planned or how we expected it to be.... but in life there are still happiness all around us.. and sometimes it doesn't take much to be happy... all the little things like a hug after a stressful day would be enough to put a smile on my face... an "i miss u" text would be enough to make my day.. and a simple joke is enough to make me laugh...

Well, i just want to tell the world... life sucks..... but i'm doing just fine... coz i'm gonna sieze any happiness that lays ahead of me.. doesn't matter how small it is ^^

Done with expectation. Be grateful. Be happy

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...... is endless. 'Nuff said...

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Something doesn't feel right :(

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Pengalaman mengajarku

Jangan mudah meluahkan isi hatiku

Tapi bila ia melamarku

Senyuman ayumu hatiku luas terbuka

Yang ku idamkan musnah

Yang ku genggam terpisah

Aku pernah jatuh cinta

Kerana cinta diriku merana

Aku pernah bahagia

Kata manisnya buatku terpedaya

Biarkan ku temankan pilu

Haruskah cinta oh kejam padaku

Kisah yang lama pengajaranku

Agar bahagia hidup bersamamu

Kini mula ku terasakan

Degupan jantungku mula rasa oh gelisah

Kehadiranmu aku mengharapkan

Akan menghilangkan kegelapan di hidupku

Kau yang seharusnya pertama

Agar terakhir selamanya...

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Morning peeps!!

Today, just like the last 2 days... i woke up in winter!!!! Oh myy... morning was sooo cold.. so i boiled hot water for my morning bath... huhuuuu.... besides that, i dunno why i felt soooo damn hungry today.. i drank 2 cups of water n went to class... morning class was fun... i just love classes when i'm the one standing in front... ironically, that's another way of my escape from life... the 2 hours moment where i feel the most sane.... maybe because that's where i got to show the other side of me (how many sides do i have anyway..... confused personality mode)

We had ice breaking session and i gave them a brief intro about the subject so that they have an idea on what is expected from them... then we end our session an hour earlier.. sooo i got an hour of free time b4 my 10am slot... and all that's on my mind was "mihunnnn~~~~ mihunnnnn~~~milooooo~~~~" i was critically hungryyy.... more like starving to death ~_~"  i manage to get both and eat like there's no tomorrow (makan dgn rakus... p/s: sungguh tidak comel)

I dunno what's the reason between the mystery of my epic starvation this morning... izzit becoz of the super cold morning? Huuuu..

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I don't know if running or exercising had anything to do with our endorphine level thus giving us a sense of pleasure afterwards... i just love running... it takes my mind off from all the troublesome matters which cluttered in it... sometimes i feel like running away from something but sometimes i feel like running towards somewhere else... i have a very simple way of thinking... it's either yes or no, never in between.... i choose to be logical rather than emotional... i look at the future, never the past.... yesterday is just history but tomorrow is something to be created.... but there comes a point in my life where i felt there are just too much to digest at a time...

"Fake it.... Fake it until u make it" is how i cheated my way to get through the insanity in life... To make myself believe that everything's ok even if there's a storm in my heart... just to hang on tightly to what i really want in life... knowing what's best for me... til i eventually made it through...

A good friend told me that whenever i'm feeling lost i was never actually are... maybe because i can always find my way back.. courage is something that i lack off & slowly trying to get back by living my life the way it supposed to... "live life, take chances & be crazy" is exactly what i'm doing without even noticing it...  just to be happy...

With the hectic 2012 coming to an end, 2013 please be kind to me.....

P/s: off to gym~~~~ my mind needs to rejuvenate... :p

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This is my 8th semesters teaching and today would be the 1st day of that semester.. each semester would bring new memories.. new groups of kids and new journey for all of us... i'm pretty much looking forward to what kind of students would i face this semester.. would it be the one whose easier to handle or those who will challenge me in every way... either way i'm fine with both because i will enjoy the knowledge transfer session that we'll be having in class ^^ plus o9... so kids.. let's have some "fun"!!! :p

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........and the heart is as grey as the sun

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