Am i not worth it?
| at 2:12 PM
Down
| at 2:33 AM
This relationship puts too much stress on me... isn't someone u love supposed to see all the good in u?
When all they point out is the bad in u.. it felt horrible... though u never meant it..
Somehow it breaks my heart... i dont wanna cry anymore but my tears keep flowing down...
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Those kind of guys
| at 8:08 PM
When i see guys, i owez can separate them into categories.... The friend-zone category, the asshole category, the lame ones, the boyfriend material, the husband material, the rebound type and etc... But the kind i despise the most are those who sees me not more than a walking thermometer... all they see & love is the outside or what i look like... few sees what beneath me... who i really am inside... makes me feel like a toy... i see the sincerity in people and i often like them becoz of that but i guess not everyone see what i see... it's disappointing...
What (Most) Women Really Want…
| at 4:57 PM
Day by day
| at 5:06 PM
so many things to say....
but he's not there to listen...
and i'm tired of the same thing over & over & over again.....
communications.... communications... communications....
why izzit owez so hard? i've no idea....
i've tried it all but it doesn't seems to work...
it's frustrating... equally depressing....
to feel like he doesn't care... while i'm missing him....
when i need him, i ended up
being the badass for not understanding...
and the egocentric for pushing myself away....
am i not worth it?
T.T
When every effort's a waste
| at 9:36 PM
It's sooooooooooooo soooo sooooo frustrating when every effort u do to make things right are wasted... It's like no matter what i do things juz wont work... why izzit so damn hard to communicate? Izzit my fault again? It's making me soooooo mad at myself... #heartache
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when the heart explodes
| at 11:32 AM
Honestly? it was too scary... all the painful words keep playing over & over in my head and crushed me... Things i never expected came from him... he owez has dis goody nice guy image in my eyes and now... he's juz too scary... done it once, he'll do it again... It strucks me how bad he see's me in his eyes.... it stresses me to the point where i want to juz cried my heart out thinking i failed being a good gf... thinking how much i was a fool all this while for literaly loving him too much with every single piece of my heart..... dats how much his words can affect me... i dont think i can ever be okay after such words...
but then, i remember the thing i promise myself... doesn't matter how bad the world knock me down... no one... NO ONE can take the good away from me... i will not allow that... i am what i am.. i value my self when no one does... i always love myself when no one does... i never treat myself wrong... yes, im vain.. i am a narc... but it's better like that... i do what i like.. and i sealed my heart away from anything that could hurt it....
i may not valuable to anyone but im valuable to me... i may not be better than any girls but im in my own league... i play by my own rules, i am my own boss and my happiness lays in my own hand... it was owez like that... my heart lets me forget...
i wont anymore...
the rest... i leave it to faith.. just follow where it'll bring me to... im tired of thinking anymore... thinking too much and being too honest didn't get me anywhere... it'll juz hurt me over & over again... so screw it..
p/s: dis is me growing up
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Hectic week
| at 12:08 AM
Done a lot of things dis week for d kids but it's all worth it.. esp today.. we all had so much fun doing class activities.. not only they got to know each other well but i also got to know them better... it's a good feeling to have done meaningful things for others...
but as for now... i'm fungry, tired and well... alone...
p/s: desperately needing a genie in a bottle.... i'm very much starving to death but my body is juz too tired to even move an inch.... sigh~~~ can someone juz bring me food puhleeeeeezzzzzzz @.@~~~
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