Leaving....
I hate goodbyes and separation doesn't matter whether i'm the 1 who leave or being leave behind.... it sucks either way... been living like this since forever... in my whole life, u actually can count how many times do we have complete family meetings....like everyone is present... most of the time it's incomplete... i wish my loved ones will always stick by my side & never leave me behind... but no one can have everything and life will always have its twist & turn.... i'm grateful enough for getting what i've been striving for all this while.... i may not found luck in certain areas but i'm thankful for meaningful friendship that i found.... it's beautiful enough to have someone watching over me as i'm going through this challenging and uncertain path of life....
P/s: i don't know what am i talking about ~.~
77th Convocation Ceremony
Syukur Alhamdulillah....
Today i had my master's degree convocation ceremony.... the day i've been waiting since the moment i entered the 1st class... Can't believe 2 years had passed since i 1st attend the 1st MBA's lecture... Been struggling with both work and assignments within this 2 years was definitely a huge challenged... Life is about balance... and when it becomes unbalance and we don't know how to fix it, it turned into one h*ll of a nightmare... There are classes that i enjoyed very much thus i can't really feel how much the time flew but there are classes that i couldn't wait to finish since it tormented my life every seconds with never ending "homeworks".... I've had countless of sleepless nights, no weekend's life, spent my new years' celebration in class doing presentations and exams but in the end all of it worth it.. all of it not only for today, but tomorrow and the day after because there are no ends in learning and seeking knowledge... That's what it meant by life long learning, right? We learned all the time.... but when everything's over, i don't know... somehow i feel i miss my weekend's classes.... and i'll miss all my classmates... But doesn't matter how much i miss it all, i will NEVER want to go through it ever again.....No matter how ambitious i am or how much i want to become a capable woman in this age.... I think i suffered enough in this journey... To EMBA 12 class, I don't know if we ever met or spend time together like we used to but i wish for everybody's success in the future :)
Nevertheless, I also would thank all Profs. & Docs who've shared knowledge, guiding and challenged us within the 2 years in nurturing us to our full potential.... Hence, opening our mind to new insights that we're never thought before...
P/s: Winners never quit, quitter never win! Life is about making choices and pulling through even when odds are against us (Shaiful, I, 2012)
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| With Sis Florence |
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| With the boys in the class |
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| With Taddy |
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| Sis Sherry yg plg cool lam klas ^^ |
I'm Back!!
Well... trip to faraway land sucks... i don't know what's the point of crying and drowning myself in sorrows... as if it's going to change anything... yeah, i can't help feeling bad for things that happened but that's human... we're not angels thus mistakes are prone to happen... so what do we do? We made up and go through with our life with the lesson that we've learned.... so what did i learn anyway?
1. Tormenting myself is a reaaaally "smart" move coz not only it makes me weaker but it doesn't help in any ways...
2. Maybe i expect too much in the relationship... PERFECT relationship? Seriously? Might as well fall in love with an imaginary boyfriend... (get what i mean?)
3. I was hurt... we both were... then, what's a big deal...? Not that somebody die or something... That's a part of relationship & we have to take the good with the bad, right? Besides, i went through sh*t worst than this.. To all relationship dramas & dilemmas, i juz hv 1 thing to say, "Been there, done that & still pretty much alive,"
4. Take life easy, think simple, let go of unnecessary regrets..... always bounce back stronger whenever we were shake, break or been stepped on... and never ever lose urself....
P/s: Tips for a secured heart.... never expect but keep on trying... fighting!!! ^^
Price of Love
There would always be a price to pay for loving someone too much but i guess i never learned that part of a lesson well... i let myself go... and fall recklessly in love even after series of major heartbreaks... and now i'm hiding underneath a blanket and refuse to get up to face the world... today i'm just too weak to even fake a smile... The feeling of being push aside for someone else eats my heart every seconds.... i wish there are painkillers for the heart bcoz i really need that now....
P/s: I'm in a mess
When reality finally hits
Yup.... another sleepless night has arrived.... people say being so madly in love is like being on a cloud 9... true... but there will be time when reality finally hits and we fell hard on the ground... the higher we fly, the harder we fall... it's a joke to think of a different relationship but with the same old story.... same heartache all over again.... no matter how much i wanted to create a right relationship, it would need both effort... because relationship is about 2 person sharing same mutual feelings towards each other and work together to make it happen... i thought when 2 people are truly in love there could be no rooms for anyone between them anymore becoz the eyes would only be set for that 1 person... i don't know... maybe all this while i was being naive... or too gullible... but i guess that kind of perfect relationship is just too good to be true....
Pack n go...
Hey there readers....
What's pack n go all about? Well, i feel like that's all that i've been doing these few weeks.... since kl, lundu, tomorrow morning would be kk and the next one is kl for my masters graduation ceremony.... and every time i got back all i do is laundry... i mean tons of laundry from each trip.... ahahahh.... tired, but worth it....
I met a friend of my ex when i was in sematan (near lundu) and he was asking on how i was doing... well, i told him the truth about my new life (not that i have anything to hide neway) i'm doing just fine & i wish my ex the same thing... i figure out that i can talk about my ex openly and anything relates to him (new girlssssss aka more than one) doesn't affect me in any sort of way anymore... i dunno, is it maybe because i knew him too much to not feel any surprise or because i'm too used to it? Whatever it is, i'm super glad that i have nothing to do with the lies and betrayals again.... (and of course, aside from that my heart completely belongs to someone else right now :p)
I learned a LOT of lessons being with that ex... one of it would be relationship based on lies and betrayal wouldn't lasts doesn't matter how much forgiveness and toleration is given... most people can forgive but the scars lives on... the thing about me, i can do both... i have enough compassions to give forgiveness & delete the resentment thus starting over.. but i found that, human nature is very scary... instead of appreciating it, they took advantage on it.... not only on somebody's compassion, but to all the good things in the world...
But whatever lessons that i've learned, i'm not going to be someone that i'm not & let other people took what's good in me.. especially those people who have wronged me... i know, most people could easily changed when they've been badly hurt... but i'm not most people... i never want to lose myself again and become someone that i used to hate....
Honesty, compassions and loyalty are my best traits despite of what i've been through or what challenges may come in the future... i still love being the way i am & i still believe that what we give to the world will always come back to us.... besides, at the end of the day... everything never was between me & other people but between me & Allah s.w.t.... (mode keinsafan jap :p)
P/s: Kk here i come.... and after kk is meeting my other half once again ^^
