The Other Side Of Me

Morning peeps...

This thurs morning i feel a lil bit off... i do appreciate it when people give me compliments such as "u're hot,"... but over the time it gets frustrated when it seems like that's the only thing that they see in me even after a while knowing me as friends... makes me think that i don't have any other qualities aside from that... i don't care for those who don't really know me... their opinion doesn't really matter.... but for someone who knows me for years, yet that's all that u see.... and as gullible as i am, i thought what's inside is more important... maybe all this while i keep looking for the good in people so i was expecting the same thing from others... i really should stop that habit.... i really shouldn't care how they look at me and stop letting people toying with me.... because those who can't see the good in me do not deserve it...

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Morning beautiful people ^^

Well... here i am talking nonsense again.. pouring whatever it is that came across my mind right now... 2013 is just around the corner... so it's time to wrap up 2012... i'm someone who always have plans for my future.. to live life i woukd always want something to achieve... a goal as u say... previously i had all my life plan ahead of me.... the problem is.. i only had that ONE plan without any back up a.k.a plan B..... so unfortunately things don't go my way... i got sidetracked... kinda menourve too far... with a way back that i never want to take anymore...that road was just too painful for me... so simply say, now im in a middle of a junction which is unknown to me... what should i do? I need to find that out soon... well, i have 10 days to decide my new future plan :)

Xoxo

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Life sucks......indeed. No one can have everything and nobody's perfect... Most of the time things don't go the way we planned or how we expected it to be.... but in life there are still happiness all around us.. and sometimes it doesn't take much to be happy... all the little things like a hug after a stressful day would be enough to put a smile on my face... an "i miss u" text would be enough to make my day.. and a simple joke is enough to make me laugh...

Well, i just want to tell the world... life sucks..... but i'm doing just fine... coz i'm gonna sieze any happiness that lays ahead of me.. doesn't matter how small it is ^^

Done with expectation. Be grateful. Be happy

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...... is endless. 'Nuff said...

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I thought what's done is done.... U had ur chances & u blew it time after time... someone else deserve better... i don't know what lays ahead but i would very much appreciate it if u would just stop messing with my heart....

Trust is earned... Once broken it would take longer than a day to recover it... I had enough issues with trust... never understand why loyalty is so hard to be understood... Is being the "only one" too much to ask? I hold myself so hard not to lose myself & become someone that i'll hate... i struggle on my 2 feet to believe that there's always sunshine after the rain... Telling myself that everything happens for a reason & sometimes if it didn't go as well as we plan, maybe things fall apart so that other things can fall together.... But in reality, being strong is indeed easier said than done...

Damaged.. is what i see in u & me... Can't be fixed... so stop re-opening the wound that's just healed....  through the years, i'm done crying in the shower, cry my heart to sleep, losing appetite to eat for days, having bad dreams, being tortured with insecurity... all without u even know it... This little heart had gone through a LOT & don't think it can take those misery once again... like seriously...

P/s: U write such pretty words..... but dear, life is no storybook..... Better hit me with the truth than comfort me with the lies.... Because truth hurts but lies can kill the heart....

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Something doesn't feel right :(

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Pengalaman mengajarku

Jangan mudah meluahkan isi hatiku

Tapi bila ia melamarku

Senyuman ayumu hatiku luas terbuka

Yang ku idamkan musnah

Yang ku genggam terpisah

Aku pernah jatuh cinta

Kerana cinta diriku merana

Aku pernah bahagia

Kata manisnya buatku terpedaya

Biarkan ku temankan pilu

Haruskah cinta oh kejam padaku

Kisah yang lama pengajaranku

Agar bahagia hidup bersamamu

Kini mula ku terasakan

Degupan jantungku mula rasa oh gelisah

Kehadiranmu aku mengharapkan

Akan menghilangkan kegelapan di hidupku

Kau yang seharusnya pertama

Agar terakhir selamanya...

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Morning peeps!!

Today, just like the last 2 days... i woke up in winter!!!! Oh myy... morning was sooo cold.. so i boiled hot water for my morning bath... huhuuuu.... besides that, i dunno why i felt soooo damn hungry today.. i drank 2 cups of water n went to class... morning class was fun... i just love classes when i'm the one standing in front... ironically, that's another way of my escape from life... the 2 hours moment where i feel the most sane.... maybe because that's where i got to show the other side of me (how many sides do i have anyway..... confused personality mode)

We had ice breaking session and i gave them a brief intro about the subject so that they have an idea on what is expected from them... then we end our session an hour earlier.. sooo i got an hour of free time b4 my 10am slot... and all that's on my mind was "mihunnnn~~~~ mihunnnnn~~~milooooo~~~~" i was critically hungryyy.... more like starving to death ~_~"  i manage to get both and eat like there's no tomorrow (makan dgn rakus... p/s: sungguh tidak comel)

I dunno what's the reason between the mystery of my epic starvation this morning... izzit becoz of the super cold morning? Huuuu..

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I don't know if running or exercising had anything to do with our endorphine level thus giving us a sense of pleasure afterwards... i just love running... it takes my mind off from all the troublesome matters which cluttered in it... sometimes i feel like running away from something but sometimes i feel like running towards somewhere else... i have a very simple way of thinking... it's either yes or no, never in between.... i choose to be logical rather than emotional... i look at the future, never the past.... yesterday is just history but tomorrow is something to be created.... but there comes a point in my life where i felt there are just too much to digest at a time...

"Fake it.... Fake it until u make it" is how i cheated my way to get through the insanity in life... To make myself believe that everything's ok even if there's a storm in my heart... just to hang on tightly to what i really want in life... knowing what's best for me... til i eventually made it through...

A good friend told me that whenever i'm feeling lost i was never actually are... maybe because i can always find my way back.. courage is something that i lack off & slowly trying to get back by living my life the way it supposed to... "live life, take chances & be crazy" is exactly what i'm doing without even noticing it...  just to be happy...

With the hectic 2012 coming to an end, 2013 please be kind to me.....

P/s: off to gym~~~~ my mind needs to rejuvenate... :p

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This is my 8th semesters teaching and today would be the 1st day of that semester.. each semester would bring new memories.. new groups of kids and new journey for all of us... i'm pretty much looking forward to what kind of students would i face this semester.. would it be the one whose easier to handle or those who will challenge me in every way... either way i'm fine with both because i will enjoy the knowledge transfer session that we'll be having in class ^^ plus o9... so kids.. let's have some "fun"!!! :p

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