The Other Side Of Me: 2011

It was just my imagination....

Funny how our feelings can play tricks with our mind.... making us see things that weren't there... jumping into conclusions and sometimes can lead us to make decisions that we might regret in the future becoz no matter how smart we are but as human, sometimes we tend to lose to our emotions.... especially when we're emotionally unstable... confusions and not to understand our own emotions tells us that we're in no state of making any decision especially if it involves relationship with others since what we felt might not be real.... coz it involves their emotions as well... so... things might turn the opposite way... We thought they're the perfect person ever and they heal our heart during that fantasy stage of ours.... and when we're healed we started to see no one is perfect.... everybody has their own flaws.... suddenly we woke up and ended up ruining theirs.... since the reality is not as beautiful as we see it is..... we looked back and see how foolish we were.... rebound can be beautiful & easy....just find someone who could distract u and take away all the misery.... but it has serious damaging effects..... it seems not worth it in the end...... such a waste of relationship.... i was lucky to have good friends who stayed with me & gave me strength to carry on as well as clarity that i was looking for when i was in need... yes, i was confused.... i didn't know what i want.... i didn't really know what i felt...... one minute i was full of emotion.... the next day, i didn't really feel anything...... i was clueless.... couldn't find the answers to my questions.... why is that? becoz i was unstable inside..... i was hurt... i was looking for distraction all the way.... but time heals everything..... though it's not easy... but in the end i was glad that i took the right way to mend everything inside... it's a long way... took a long time... but it was worth it..... i found my clarity... found my answers.. see through my fantasies & found my reality..... the thing i thought was perfect was only in my imagination..... ~~i mean what was i thinking???~~ the only thing that's real is the one in front of my eyes all the time...... It's YOU ^^

The Reason

| at 1:11 AM

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

When a good guy falls completely in love, it'll be normal.... but when a bad guy falls truly in love, it'll be a whole different story.... He's a badass that will never be in girls MUST have list.... but he's so gorgeous... and charming... and funny... ~~and HOT~~ and somehow we can't get rid of him from our lives.... He'll hurt us along the way.... again and again... but somehow he managed to make those all up by doing good deeds to make us happy, protecting us to make us feel safe, and never stop trying to make us smile..... as time goes by.... we look at him & started to recall back the first day that we met him and him that's standing right in front of us and all of a sudden we realized that he's a completely different person from back then.... It's not that he's changed but maybe, this is who he really is.... OR... he's becoming a better person each day without even realizing it because of you.... :)

I think that's what the song all about.... becoming a better person because we fall in love with somebody that wants us to lead a more meaningful life than what we previously have.... We made mistakes along the way & we continuously will try to find redemption to it.... That way, we learned things... It's nice to have found salvation & start our life all over again.... ^^

Logos Hope

| at 11:18 AM

The largest floating book fair is here!!! I saw the news about floating book fair once in KK but did not have the chance to go during that moment.... So when my classmate mentioned about it in class i was extremely excited to go because i have certain level of addiction to BOOKs!!! I just love to read.... May it be novels or motivational books ~~except text book ofcoz~~..... So i brought Pol along with me.... Lucky to have a sporting boyfie who would go along anywhere i wanted ~~although he didn't read much~~ :p Over there, There were quite a number of people with their cameras snapping photos around the area ~~including us of coz~~. Entrance fee was only RM1 and we were entertained by a saxophonist while waiting for our turn to enter the ship....... U can see a lot of "mat saleh" as well ~~(why are they called mat saleh anyway?)~~

This is the book section..... All books were tagged with unit not RM value... and 100 unit is equivalent to RM 8.... For instance if the book is tagged 50... it means that the price is only RM 4.... I think it's because this Logos Hope sails around the world.... so it is more convenient to use unit compare to the currency value for each country where they have to re-tag the books according to the country's currency. Tedious isn't it? All the books were reasonably priced compare to the bookstore that we have here ~~like Popular, MPH...bla..bla...bla..~~which i seldom go to.... There were varieties of books but limited category..... ~~I cant find motivational books except for Gung Ho! which i've read..~~ I bought several books & souveniers while Pol bought the world map.... ~~seriously?? a world map?? Talking bout geography...~~ Ok laa... it's quite interesting also to learn all the countries in the world :p ~~I just knew how huge Canada is ~.~"~~

The ship mesmerized me.... It was huge... I was beautiful.... I felt i was going to board on Titanic :p

Before leaving we had a break in it's coffee house.... It serves food & beverages from coffee to popcorn to ice cream.... We didn't feel like we were inside a ship... It felt like walking inside a mall instead :P The nite was fun altogether..... For those who haven't go, Logos Hope is still there waiting for u guys at Pending Port until 13 Nov 2011...... ^^

Santubong Hiking 15-16/10/11

| at 1:33 AM

It's been hectic these past few weeks till at times i felt it was getting harder to breathe.... With work & study.... marking & assignments..... Urghhhh.... Those days i wished one day would be more than 24 hours.... But in those hectic moments i found time to do some adventurous stuff :p...... Treat it as a way to release all the tensions built inside my head... So what did i do? I went hiking!!! The suggestion came from pol's uncle since i've never been to Santubong mountain just yet :p

So on the morning of 15 Oct 2011, me, Pol, Kak dedet (pol's sister), Bang omar & his uncle went to the Santubong's police station to file a report. It is a common procedure for security purposes for everyone. Moreover, we were going to stay over night & camp ^^....

At the beginning of the climb..... everyone was very excited & full of energy :p
Beside us, there were many other people hike during the weekends...
Seriously it felt like going to a recreational park.... :p

After almost an hour walking, climbing while carrying a heavy bag pack...
I still can smile & pose for the camera... hahah...

We reached this first check point F7 after an hour plus i think...
We were getting quite tired already.
This is the junction to the 2nd waterfall...

As we climbed higher, the route became more and more stiff.... It was a real physical challenge for all of us...
But we manage to get through it one by one.... Pretty strong will we had there....

This timber step was MADNESS!!!! It didn't only challenge us physically but mentally as well because honestly NONE of us expect to see this or to have to go through this non convincing steps. We thought there was only one of this thingy but we saw one after another.... And those steps were actually getting longer & longer after each step..... The heavy bag pack didn't help the situation.... It made us felt like falling due to the gravity & imbalance of weight....
Plus, the steps were very2 small... ~~kuuuss semengat~~

We didn't think of turning back.... Juz kept on going although i was getting really crazy for going through this steps over and over again like it was never going to end....

And after 6 hours climbing.... FINALLY!!!! We reached the tip of Mount Santubong.... I knowwwww.... it was likeee.... what??? 6 hours??? Hey, we were 1st timer... what do u expect??? The most important thing is we did not give up.... We kept going and we reached the TOP!!! :))) Although there was nothing really to see up there other than the view of Kuching, but what matters were SATISFACTION!!! I was proud of myself for successfully went through the obstacles and challenges on that day....

This was the sun set from up above..... simply beautiful...

Next.... after setting up our tent.... we cooked the meals for the nite.... It was spaghetti bolognaise ^^ plus other can food.... the normal food u will bring for a camp i guess.... ~~sempe2 nyawa pun kena masak mun x.... kebulur suma org~~

Our tent that we set up :)

Camp fire??? At nite it was really2 cold.... felt like i was in an air-conditioning room.... ~~Berdiang~~

This would be the one thing that i would NEVER forget..... The nite view from the top.... It might not look as pretty as it was in the pic due to the digital cam resolution..... But it was really an eye catching view....Moreover, the weather was fine with the stars & the full moon shone brightly at the sky..... When i saw this, everything felt worthwhile.... We were juz standing there.... looking at the city lights while burning some fireworks :)
That moment was wonderful..... I miss every second of it....

Morning came fast..... We went down at 9 am and it was still very2 cold......

It took us approximately 5 hours going down..... It was not tiring like going up.... but the foot & knee cant functioned well though.... maybe it didn't get enough rest.....hoho... ~~lutut sa longgar semacam~~.... We ended our journey & took bath at the waterfall on our way out :) We climbed, we camped and we went to the waterfall..... what else would i asked? My weekend had been filled with such wonderful memories.... and i look forward for our next adventures :)

Guardian Angels

| at 5:47 PM

Friends..... True friends are like guardian angels.... those who look over us when we're in trouble.. Share our happiness.... listen to our problems.... trying to understand our situation... be there in laughter & pain.... I'm lucky to have those people in my life that care enough for me.... I live alone in a place where i don't have any relatives and all but i never even once felt alone becoz my friends are my family... my sisters... my brothers... my guardian angels :) It eased my pain when they asked me whether i'm ok when i'm sick... Relief my suffering when they make me laugh at my weakest point in life.... Take away my loneliness by sitting next to me.... We might not be next to one another 24/7 but we'll always watch over each other's back.... I'm glad & thankful to have such honest & true friendships in my life & i intend to keep these friendships forever :)

Best Boyfriend In The World

| at 1:09 AM

Who might be the best boyfie in the world? Romeo oh Romeo? But Romeo and Juliet ends in tragic.... So does Titanic's Jack & Rose.... ~~Maybe it's U and Me? :P~~ Seriously.... there's no such thing as a perfect boyfriend, right? Boys will remain to be boys.... They'll hurt us.. we hurt them.... misunderstanding happens.... we broke up.... sometimes we found our way back and try to mend things becoz we still want them in our lives.... Despite all that, there are times when they kept quiet when we nag.... restraining themselves when we irritate them.... running a list of errands we asked them to ~~(they complained but still do it)~~ ...... put through annoying moments with us and still able to make us smile.... Hence, when they try to be a better man for us each day & trying to be our best friend at the same time whom we can share everything with.... i think they deserved to be called the best boyfie in the world :)

Be With U

| at 10:53 AM

I know they wanna come and separate usBut they can't do us nothin'You're the one I want and I'ma continue lovin''Cause you're considered wifey and I'm considered husbandAnd I'ma always be there for you
And either way you look at it, I ain't goin' nowhere for my muffin''Cause she gonna hold it down, can't nobody tell her nothin'You got the kind of love that always make a better fussin'And that's what gets me closer to you
And no one knows why I'm into you'Cause you'll never know what it's like to walk in our shoesAnd no one know the things we've been throughCan never measure up to half of what I put you throughThat's why we'll break through
And I don't care what they say, I'm gonna be with youI'm gonna be with you, I wanna be with youAnd I don't care what they do, I'm gonna be with youI'm gonna be with you, I'm gonna be with you
Seems like every day that go by, things are gettin' harderWanna be the one that give you the whole enchilada'Cause I know what my baby like, I lean you on that PradaYou ain't got to match with the shoes
All about knowin' you, I'm into doin' things to keep her longerStickin' together forever, watch you grow strongerThat's the way it has to be, everythin' problemKeepin' it always true
And no one knows why I'm into you'Cause you'll never know what it's like to walk in our shoesAnd no one know the things we've been throughCan never measure up to half of what I put you throughThat's why we'll break through
And I don't care what they say, I'm gonna be with youI'm gonna be with you, I wanna be with youAnd I don't care what they do, I'm gonna be with youI'm gonna be with you, I'm gonna be with you
You are everythin' in my life, see the joy you bringAnd ain't no one I compare you toAnd I know that you will never walk away from me no matter whatAnd that's why I plan to do the same thing for youAnd I want you to know

This is one of my fav. song from akon after Right Now (feat. Kat Deluna) ~~her voice mmg umphh!!!~~

I like the beat.... the music... the rhythm...the lyric.... ~~arum bulak semua lah~~.... never gets bored doesn't matter how many times i listened to it, Coz for me, the song is meaningful... Being in love with somebody is one of the most beautiful feeling... to have someone to love.. to hate when things go a lil bit wrong... to argue with when i'm under stressed.... to hug when i'm tired of everything around me.... to annoy when i'm bored ... to miss when i'm alone.... In the end of the day, there's always somebody there for us :)

Back to the song, i think it's about a relationship that is not approved by others.... erm, forbidden maybe? or a relationship that people just couldn't understand.... why these two are together? he/she could be with someone better.... we get that a lot, right? Esp. when we see a hot guy with an average girlfriend or vice versa.... a rich girl with an ordinary Joe..... But who are we to judge when we don't even know what these two is going through... Besides, they say "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder".... well, for me... Love is not only based on looks or material thingy.. It is beyond that... To love someone based on those things are just so shallow.... For me, it's about chemistry that comes naturally.... it's about the way we feel when that person is around ... Doesn't matter what we are doing... laughing, joking, arguing, talking.... and we wish time would never passed. Without us realizing it, that person stuck on our head all day long.... and we are longing to be with him/her the next day.... Maybe the person already found his/her way in our hearts.... :)

So, i don't really know what love is.... because before i even begin to understand it, i already fall for it...... can't help it.. can't control it.... can't really do anything about it... and i still don't have a clue "why?" so just live with it :D

Perfect Moment

| at 1:28 AM

Wondering what's my perfect moment? for me it's the moment when we wish that time would stop and hope that we would stay like that forever.... Have u ever had those moments? i think everyone would have, right? the one beautiful moment we hate to let go.... The one that make us want to turn back time and relieve it once again... It can be one of the moment with our family.... or BFFs.... or a lover perhaps? :p Tepuk dada tanyalah diri sendiri~~~~~ :D